This is our Independence Day!

On this, the eve of our Independence Day, I'd like to give you David Letterman's Top Ten Things you Don't Want to Hear at a Fourth of July barbecue (with my own thoughts in blue) (followed by a few of my "tops" for this patriotic holiday):

Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear At A July Fourth Barbecue
10. "Beef is great, but squirrel's so much cheaper"

9. "Take a photo of me lighting this cigar with an M-80"

8. "To give it a little 'kick,' I put charcoal starter in the punch"

7. "Oh God, Letterman's shirtless again" (or, if you'd prefer, insert another name here)
6. I'd like to tell you why scientology is so important to me" (gag me with a plastic spoon!)

5. "Hey look, it's Earnest Borgnine--oh, sorry lady" (call me ignorant...but who's Earnest Borgnine?)

4. "All right, detainees, line up over here for your gitmo-style powdered baked beans"

3. "I'm afraid the only fireworks tonight are between me and your wife"

2. "My hot dog has a knuckle" (wait, are we at Wendy's?)

1. "I don't think that's mayonnaise in the cole slaw" (ewww, just plain ewww)

And, here are a few of my "tops" for this patriotic holiday:

-Getting pegged in the head with flying salt-water taffy at the parade. (Hey, this really happened to me on Saturday)
-Remembering when me and my best friend, Sadie, used to put tea-cups to our ears to mask the sound of the fireworks.
-Having a terrific excuse to wear those fab colors, red, white, and blue, and getting away with wearing them in a cheesy way.
-Sparklers. Need I say more?
-The tear-provoking songs of our Independence that always make me PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN!


I hope you all have a fantastic 4th of July. We'll be partying hard here in Utah!!!

Love you all.