hope among stress

I've been up to my eyeballs in research homework all week. My current master's class is all about research and, well, I hate it. This week I had to read 3 lengthy chapters, 3 lengthy research studies assigned by my instructor, and I had to research & read 5-7 research studies on my own research topic (all of which were at least 10 pages long). I then have to create an annotated bibliography of my 5 research studies. On top of that, I have to read 3 other people's 5-7 research studies. All by Sunday. I've just about ripped out all of my hair.

(I got on the computer to work when Ben left for a study group at 6 and told myself I could be done at 9 if I worked hard and got my bibliography at least halfway done. My reward was a little bit of creative writing in the form of a blog post, which may end up being kind of long.)

It was also newspaper deadline yesterday, which totally sprang up on me out of the blue. But, after totally freaking out about the fact that it was deadline and realizing that papers go out on Tuesday, I quickly revised my lesson plan for the day and had a bit of time in each class to work on the paper layout. By 7th period, I'd proofed the paper, converted it to PDF, and e-mailed it off to the printer. A confirmation e-mail arrived this morning that the paper will, in deed, arrive on Tuesday as planned. Yay. I love when things go right.

I also had book club this week, which is always a treat. This gives me a chance to leave homework, housecleaning, and grading untouched for a bit and to enjoy the company of mature, adult women. Not to mention, we always have great cuisine. I was thisclose to canceling my attendance , but I managed to get a bit of homework done whilst I was home and ended up going and totally enjoyed my hour and half away from all the previously mentioned stresses.

Among all this chaos, I've reached 20 weeks in my pregnancy, which translates into roughly 5 moths and just little over halfway. I'm feeling good and am happy to report that I now know for sure that I've felt this little babe rockin' and rollin' inside of me on several occasions. It tickles, to be honest. A fun thing is that, while we were sitting on the couch late one night, I was telling Ben that the baby was moving. He put his hand on my bare belly and we sat and waited--in silence, as if it would help--until he felt something, and he did feel something...which was the biggest movement I've felt thus far. So now, he's been able to feel a little of what I feel. Here's a 20 week belly picture of my maternity pants-covered belly:
I obtained three huge plastic storage bins of maternity clothes from three of Ben's aunts. It has been fun going through all the possibilities (almost like going shopping) and I'm grateful that I now have a plethora of winter-ish maternity sweaters and shirts that I didn't even have to buy! Students continue to point out my recent transformation with sweet sayings such as, "Mrs. Hubert, you're fat now," and "Mrs. Hubert's got a pointy tummy," and "Mrs. Hubert is getting huge!" Gotta love them.

In my travels around town this week, I've observed several things that have brought me joy. This is a big deal because I've been, oh, just a tad stressed and joy has been hard to come by (except for the pieces of chocolate I like to nibble on during the day when no one is looking). To others, these may be joy-less and silly, but I can attest that I truly smiled.

The first joy is that I saw a teenage boy walking down the street reading a book. He was reading as he walked. He wasn't on his cell phone. He wasn't listening to his iPod. He was READING. And, I think, the book he was reading was one of the Twilight books. It brought a smile to my face and my heart. (OK, I know that sounds cheesy!)

The second joy happened literally seconds after the first joy. I saw another teenage boy walking down the street READING. Yes. Two in a row. Reading a book. As he walked. Amazing. I have difficulty getting my teenage students to read the shortest short story I can find, let alone a whole freaking book. I just loved the sight of those two boys reading. While they were walking, none the less.

The third and final joy is that I have to speak in sacrament on Sunday (that, in and of itself isn't the joy, really). My topic is hope. I've been thinking about what I would talk about for about two weeks. I finally decided to open my conference edition of the Ensign last night when I was just too exhausted to read one more research study and just happened to turn right to Elder Uchdorf's talk on hope. And, amidst the stresses and chaos, I found joy in reading about hope....hope that things always get better....hope that I'm not stressed alone.....hope that I can make it.