hard days

Some days I have a hard time really loving my job. Like, last Friday when the principal literally yelled at us in faculty meeting for some "unprofessional" behavior (seriously? Is yelling so loud and hard the spit comes out of your mouth AND swearing at your faculty professional?). I didn't love my job that day.

I don't love my job when students give me major attitude (with a head-snap and eye-rolls included) and complain about doing a group activity. Or when I have to discipline a normally great kid for doing something totally stupid...and then she starts crying.

Some days I love my job. Like when students 'get' a concept I teach them and I can almost see the lightbulb go off in their head. Or when I see tremendous progress in students who previously struggled.

Another thing that made Friday a sad day at the "office," was being told that two former students (neither of which I had in class but whom I knew) were involved in a tragic event that left one dead..at 17. A male student "reportedly" took his girlfriend hostage on Friday morning, drove to a local mall and decided to take his own life by shooting himself in the head because, "apparently," she was pregnant and was going to break up with him. He was life-flighted to the children's hospital and was pronounced dead later that evening.

This event has had me thinking about two things.

The first: As teachers, we get to know our students quite closely each year and often create bonds with some of them. You do your job, teach them exciting things like commas and literature, and then in June they leave your room & you hope you made some sort of difference. You see so much potential in many of them, even though they can be goofs sometimes, that you really hope they turn out to be truly successful at something in their life (because, lets face it, they never 'got' commas!). Then, something like this event takes place and this student who had so much potential (really, he was all around amazing) is no longer living. You wonder, could there have been signs that this was going to be his outcome? could we, as teachers, could have done something to prevent it?

The second: The male student who died has a little brother who is currently a 9th grader at WL. Again, he's not one of my own students, but I know of him because I hear other teachers talk & because of my work with yearbook pictures. He's polar opposite of his successful brother...lover of all things drugs, if you catch my drift. He, and his brother, obviously have friends at WL who heard about the events of Friday. All students are indirectly or directly affected by the events. Though many students are quite often rude, disrespectful, and insensitive to others, today some showed care, heart, and compassion. After school I had several former students (who are now at the highschool) and current students come in to my room looking for any monetary donations to be given to the family of the male student who died. They came in solmenly with great reverance and sincerity with the loss of their friend and classmate. They rose to the occasion with often unseen maturity that made me truly proud. I realized that this is another part of my job I love.

No one really knows the real story about what happened to the students on Friday. All that is for sure is that it's a tragedy. I heard some awesome stories about the student today in the faculty lounge, all with nothing but positive things to say about his character, his desires, and potential.